The usual fodder here is fiction, my random musings generally prompted by online writing communities. Today I’m unnaturally reflective, as it’s my 48th birthday. Big deal, right? Aging may suck, but it’s better than the alternative.

Having recently been diagnosed with beginning stage osteoarthritis, I feel like whining. My fingers and palms ache every morning when I wake up.  BUT … I wake up. I can move. I can go to work. Life is good.

Even though I’m not an outwardly demonstrative person, emotion got the best of me over the weekend. My seven-year old insisted on knowing whether or not Santa Claus is real and gave me several possibilities of who first presented the possibility to him. After pressing me several times, I fessed up, and he got pretty upset at the reality. I couldn’t uphold the façade when he asked me not to lie to him. So we both cried, inching so much further to the total erasure of innocence. He told me that his “imagination was closed,” and the statement almost broke my heart. I want him to stay as young and unaffected for as long as he can.

We are so fortunate to have such a great kid, no matter how old we are. My biggest fear in life is to miss seeing him grow up and pass all the milestones people take for granted are guaranteed to us.

My friend, Mary, recently received a lung cancer diagnosis. She is also 48 years old and full of life. Although we only converse via social media any more, I doubt she will dare utter any negativity about her precarious situation. That’s not her style. The woman is fierce, and I admire her bravery.

I raise my proverbial glass to another year of possibilities – cheers!


  1. Oh gosh, Katy….I am so sorry about your friend Mary. And your adorable little boy will grow up to be an amazing young man – soon he will understand that not believing in Santa Claus is not the same thing as not believing in Christmas….and it will all be o.k. I hope you had a wonderful birthday!

    • Thanks, Alexis. The boy has now asked how the Easter Bunny gets to all the other countries … like China … in just one day. I told him most people in China don’t celebrate Easter. Fortunately, he hasn’t put it all together yet. And I told him that we can always celebrate Christmas no matter what.

  2. Very reflective post. Sorry about your arthritis, I’ve got that too. Find a good doctor and you’ll manage that well. On the other issue of shattering Atticus’s view of reality it probably won’t be the first or last time. Don’t we all wish we could hold on to some of those childhood illusions?

  3. Love this Katy! I like your fiction but love hearing about what is really going on inside of you. 🙂 I meant to tell you earlier I really liked your post about fall too. I have always loved fall because of how beautiful it is but I don’t like the shorter days so I’m with you on that! Re: Santa, when Sara finally asked me about Santa Claus she was more worried that if she revealed that she didn’t believe that she wouldn’t still get the presents! 🙂

    • Thank you, Sandy. The boy is already becoming quite the storyteller, and I think he likes to escape into his own little version of magic. Poor kid. One illusion down and a million to go.

  4. Happy birthday! It’s scary when we realize our own mortality (compounded by that of others) and then relate it to our children. I have a seven year old and this age feels like innocence runs away rather than slips away.

    Be well.

  5. Happy Birthday!!

    Argh to the osteo. Sorry to hear about that AND your friend’s tough battle. AND about having to spill the beans about the big guy in the red suit. One of mine is seven and I DREAD that day. 😦 Life keeps trucking past us, doesn’t it?

  6. I think we had the same conversation – including the reaction – with our boy when he was 7. As long as they know they still get Christmas, they do get over it. And in my son’s case, milk it for all it’s worth: “Well, if Santa existed, I would get an extra present…” Ha! Happy Birthday.

    • Thanks for visiting and for your supportive comments. He hasn’t mentioned it since, and I’m leaving the subject alone for now. We’ll see what happens when it comes to Christmas list writing time.

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